We at Completethelist.Wordpress.Com want to list “50 ways to annoy your mother-in-law without her knowing your intentions.” We have found that there is a great need for those desperate to even the score. We need your help to complete the list…we’d love to hear your suggestions, just submit your answers at the comments box.
1. If she calls to let you know she’s coming over to your house, hurry and put on a bath robe and wet your hair. Act shocked to see her when she arrives.
2. Ask her each time you see her, “Are you feeling okay? You look like you have a cold or something.”
3. If she has photographs, or artwork hanging on the walls, pretend that you are straightening a few each time you go to their place when really you are making them lean just a little to the right or left.
4. Use a her favorite magazines as coasters when having a drink at her house.
5. If you see a partially completed crossword puzzle, say “Oh I love crossword puzzles” and fill in all the wrong words.
6. Move book-marks a few pages ahead of where they’re placed.
7. Several seconds after she’s gotten into the bathroom, knock on the door impatiently saying, “Please hurry, I really need to pee!”
8. Offer to put away her washed dishes, but put them in all the wrong places.
9. Offer to meet at a restaurant for dinner, then don’t go. Just say, “Oh, I forgot.”
10. Offer to pay for everyone’s meal, then when the waiter arrives say “We’ll all just have water, thanks.”
11. Never feed your kids before going to her house so that they constantly beg her for food.
12. Bring a carton of boiled eggs with you and when she isn’t looking, switch them out for her fresh ones.
13. Just before you leave, open the fridge and put a dot of black food coloring into her milk container.
14. Leave her fridge, or freezer open just a crack when you leave her house. If she doesn’t notice right away, her food will spoil.
15. Send her a Happy Birthday card with her favorite famous person’s return address (and a special note from them).
16. Pick ear wax out of your ears and wipe it on stuff in her house.
17. Buy her cheap art several times a year. Tell her that you were thinking of her when you bought them.
18.(Adrienne) If you happen to have a small dog, take it with you to your MIL’s home. Make sure it hasn’t pooped in a day or so, and then find a way to “accidentally” allow him to do his business on her fave rug……then laugh innocently and say, “Fluffy only poops where he has smelled sh** before, that’s STRANGE…” she will get the hint if she has been badmouthing you lately.
19. (Adrienne) If you really don’t like your MIL you could show her your secret displeasure by flushing a few thick old socks down her toilet. Continue flushing until it overflows. Then run to her saying that her toilet isn’t working properly. Or, just let her find it that way…heehee.
20. (Annoyed) [Edited] Accuse her of doing something awful, like, “Someone’s been selling my daughter’s clothes online. Was it you?”
21. (Haha) Sign her up for AARP!! They send junk mail all the time AND sell your address to ALL types of other businesses!
22. (SoThatsHowItIs) Keep telling her how much you love her son and how much he loves and looks after you. If she really likes you then this will make her happy, if she secretly hates you, this will DRIVE HER NUTS! It’s a win win!
23. (dixie511) If your MIL is selling something like Mary Kay sign up for it and then a couple of weeks later tell her that selling isn’t your thing and sign up for Avon the same day and bring a book by and put it on her door step.
24. (kris1980) When you’re visiting your MIL, switch her diet pills for laxative pills they sell to elderly people with serious bowel problems. She won’t be inviting you for the next few months or so.
25. (Lish) I leave random nursing home brochures in her house.
26. (Rayven) When ever your MIL calls you answer the phone exasperated and when she asks what’s wrong, explain in detail how wonderful the sex was with your husband, when she asks you to stop, say that’s the same thing you tell your husband when he gets rough! She will be very disgusted! And eventually stop calling!
27. (Warren) Take your other MIL on holiday with you and your family.
28. (Becky) Start cleaning her house the second you get there, even if its already clean.
29. (payback is hell) Send her a snarky greeting card – the more back-handed and insulting the better.
30. (it works bothways) Steal an apology.
31 (IHateMyMIL) Put laxatives in her milk.
32. (Barbiegirl) Order a special Tshirt as a gift that says “I love my Daughter-In-Law/I love my Son-In-Law” with a huge picture of your face on it.
33. (Laraylia) Bake for her, but put the wrong ingredients in the batter (have paprika flavored cupcakes and chocolate prawn crackers).
34. (lordfarquad) Defecate on her pillow.
35. (Zaf) Urinate around and on the toilet seat in her house. She will go nuts.
36 (Sprites) Text naughty, sexy things to your spouse while she’s around. When she asks “what’s so funny?” say, “oh, nothing.”
37: (HollyHu) Boil an Egg and unshell the egg. Then place it in the main room she stays in but it a hidden place. It will make a a funky smell.
38: (HollyHu) Pee on her toothbrush, when she isn’t home.
39: (HollyHu) If she is a blond and uses that blond shampoo (that is actually a purple or blue color), slip in some temporary (same color) hair dye. She can’t get too mad because she wont know what happened and it will eventually come out with more shampoo washes.
40. (Tuddy) Hook your MIL up to your wireless network at home, then as soon as you leave the house change your network key… Absolute BLISS 
41. (Victoria Alcock) I use a trick from a tv show. Instead of saying’F*** off, I say ‘Thats nice’. She has no idea which I mean, she watches the show its from, but thinks I don’t. The confusion is funny revenge.
42. (Christy) Switch her conditioner with Nair.
43. (Kaye) Create an outdoor decorative swivel sign that is stocked with flowers that your mother in law is allergic to – others with scents she despises, or plants she cant stand etc…The sign could read on one side “Friends welcome!” The other side, “Relatives by Appointment Only”…I guess its a passive aggressive way to get a little payback.
44. (Karen) When she phones your house, Ask who is calling. If she says her name prompt her for a surname. Do it every single time.
45. (Raed Gheith) If your mother-in-law talks too much, always offer her some potato chips and soda before she begins flapping her lips. Potato chips contain salt and makes the mouth run dry. Give her soda for a drink, and say you have nothing else. The carbonation and ingredients in soda will further dehydrate her. She’ll eventually stop talking
46. (Shosho) Open up her dresser drawers and stamp your foot on all of her undergarments. I bet that will make you feel great!
47. (Chris82) Whenever your MIL takes a shower, turn on all the other facets to hot (make sure you only turn on the ones you can get to in time if in the event she tries to bust you). The shower will quickly run out of hot water.
48. (Lauren Greenwood) Turn her home into a flop house and raid the fridge (like you’re a nanny with no kids to watch).
49. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Wear tight and revealing clothes when she comes over, then bend over a lot to show off your booty.
50. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Ask her to go see movies with you about old people, like, “That Old Fart!”
51. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Wear expensive jewelry when you visit her. If shes secretly checks you out every time, let her. Put your hair back and let your earrings shine on her face!
52. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Every time she throws a cunning, manipulated joke at you, reply with a lovely laugh, “You’re so mean! How did you come up with that one?”
53. (courtcourt) After every conversation with her mumble “Ughh, this is why nobody likes you.”
54. (karen) When she phones your house, ask who is calling. If she says her name, prompt her for a surname. I do it every single time.
55. (tired of in-laws) If your MIL acts like a child, treat her accordingly! Speak to her like a baby, say, “Awww, your mad at me huh? Don’t be mad, I love you!”
56. (lzzchicago) If your MIL is allergic to a certain brand of dish detergent, switch hers for that brand.
57. (lzzchicago) Buy her Anti-Cracking Heel Cream for Christmas, practical and funny.
58. (lzzchicago) Buy her the movie “Monster in Law.”
59. (kathi) Make your cell phone ring and then answer it, pretending to talk to a friend, casually. However, the conversation is actually all about the fantastic, incredible traits the friend’s MIL has. If yours is uneducated hers is a physics major, if yours is fat, hers is thin and in super great sexy good shape. Perky boobs, handsome husband – the whole nine yards. Make sure you pause now and then and let your imaginary friend speak. No way she can interrupt – it’s not about her, but she will suffer in silence big time.
60. (woo hoo) Give her gifts that imply that everyone sees her as a retched old lady, like: a shoe horn, a book about menopause, a particularly revolting perfume.
61. (woo hoo) Give her clothes that are a few sizes bigger than she actually is.
62. (woo hoo) Invite her to dinner, intentionally give her a smaller portion and then offer to cut it up for her.
63. (woo hoo) Pretend that you can smell something bad in her house.
64. (woo hoo) Have a laugh with your father in law (about her), this is a double whammy!
65. (woo hoo) “Accidentally,” spill wine on her sofa.
66. (woo hoo) Tell her all the nice things your partner says to you.
67. (woo hoo) Get your kids to make art for her (and lots of it). Make sure she knows you want to see it displayed.
68. (woo hoo) Tell her you love HER mother in law.
69. (labrat) Flush the toilet when they take a shower.
70. (chubby digits) Upon meeting her, ecstatically congratulate her and tell her how happy you are for her. When she says what for, answer her innocently: “On your pregnancy!?” Of course she isn’t. Have fun watching her get all riled up and insecure about her appearance.
71 (Mostnicestdaughterinlaw) Hand her a condom wrapper and tell her the ingredients in the lubricant are great for her skin, full of essential oils and vitamins.
72. (Callie Doggett) lead her to a flight of stairs (instead of an elevator) and run up while she gasps and struggles behind.
73. (Callie) Buy a bottle of toxic, poisonous plant-killer and secretly squirt some into each potted houseplant. When she bemoans her dying plants, sweetly say, “Well, not everyone’s born with a green thumb.”
74.
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if you really hate your MIL you could show your secret displeasure of her by flushing a few thick old socks down her toilet, flush until it overflows, and run to her claiming her toilet isn’t working properly. Or you could just let her find it that way later…heehee
“…find it that way later…” Perfect!
My mother in law is the absolute biggest beach in the world. She keeps threatening to leave my wife and myself out of her will! I don’t give a Hoot! I earn my own money Beach!! When she dies, I will be the first one to take a leak on her grave!! I keep telling her if she does not quit being rude, I’m going to put hundreds of cockroaches in her casket when she dies!! My 7 year old son says, “Grandma is on permanent menopause”!!! I Love it!! My Father in Law had knee surgery in December —- upon his return home — my mother in law constantly beached him out until he threw a blood clot causing a stroke!! Thank you for the ideas!! I will now begin to annoy her daily!!!
Put her towel in the toilet or pour Castor oil in the food…
If you happen to have a small dog, take it with you to MIL’s home; only make sure it hasn’t pooped in a day, and find a way to “accidently” allow him to do his business on her fave rug……then laugh innocently and say, “Fluffy only poops where he has smelled sh** before, that’s STRANGE…” she will get the hint if she has been badmouthing you lately.
‘…where he has smelled…sh….before”…That’s great!
Great Comments Adrienne! Nice punchline at the end about the badmouthing…!
Tell her you know she has been selling your daughter’s clothing behind your back.
What mine has been doing for the past 7 years and I finally caught on after I did some investigating-I had been wondering where my daughter’s clothing had been going and it had been disappearing like crazy!
Annoyed, that’s terrible. Some people don’t know how to dress their own age.
Sign her up for AARP!! They send junk mail all the time AND sell your addreas to ALL types of other businesses!
haha,
That’s a great idea. You could also sign her up for the Watchtower, or refer her to the Mormon missionaries.
Yes, go ahead an refer her to the Mormons. Those guys are awesome! Your MIL will be much happier with Christ in her life.
My MIL is Mormon has been for the last 40 years. Don’t think that helps at all.. She is a monster.
tip: keep telling her how much you love her son and how much he loves and looks after you. if she really likes you then this will make her happy, if she secretly hates you, this will DRIVE HER NUTS! It’s a win win!
i’ve just found out after 6 years of marriage that my MIL secretly disliked me all along, our friendship was a scam on her part. initially i was hurt, now i’m mad, but we can all play that game!!! goodluck DIL’s, and let’s make a vow to never put our sons through this ourselves, learn from our MILs mistakes girls.
I know exactly how you feel!!!! The same kind of situation happened to me! As soon as things got a little rocky wih my fiancé now of 4 years, she totally turned her back on me! What a slap in the face it was! Now I’m looking for quiet, sweet revenge….
Barbiegirl,
Let us know how it goes. Post your success stories and suggestions – good luck!
My husband was a lazy piece of nothing. He didn’t work; his daily routine was staying up all night watching TV, sleeping until noon, and waking up to watch 16 more hours of TV. He refused to do any housework, cooking, or other domestic tasks; he ate snacks and left his dirty dishes all over the house for me to find, and he tossed his laundry everywhere for me to collect and wash. Throughout all this, I worked full-time, sometimes with a second, part-time job. Throughout all this, he had a law degree that he didn’t feel like using. When I finally got fed up with this joke of a marriage and tossed him out, his parents turned on ME. They knew that their son was a worthless freeloader and constantly ridiculed him for it. But I was awful; I was mean; they’d never liked or trusted me; their precious son deserved someone so much better than me; they were so glad I was gone.
soThatsHowItIs,
Great post! I’m pretty sure that you’re not alone here!
You are so right!I’m in the same boat!
The same thing happened to me! 14 years and I just found out! You’re so right! I’ll take that vow! In fact I ended up writing a letter to my daughters bf telling him how much I appreciate the sacrifices he’s made to make sure she gets her education. Yeah he moved to another country and is flipping the bill for a prestigious university! I posted that sucker on fb!
if your MIL is selling something like (mary kay) sign up for it then a couple of weeks later tell her that selling isnt your thing and sign up for avon the same day and bring a book by and put it on her door step
dixie511,
It sounds like you’ve had some experience in this area. Let us know how things progress.
When you’re visiting your MIL, go switch her diet pills for laxative pills they sell to elderly people with serious bowel problems. She won’t be inviting you for the next few months or so.
…”…switch her diet pills for laxitives…” Great!
I leave random nursing home brochures in her house…..
Love it!
When ever your MIL calls you answer the phone exasperated and when she ask what’s wrong, explain in detail how wonderful the sex was with your husband, when she ask you to stop, say that’s the same thing you tell your husband when he gets rough! She will be very disgusted! And eventually stop calling!
I imagine you’d need some real courage to pull this one off.
well my mother in law does all these things to me how can i get rid of her plz help me plz
If your MIL does all of these things than you need to move far, far away.
Moving far far away does not help, TRUST ME !!! I don’t have to deal with her face to face but they find a way..
You’re a genius! Thanks..
My mother in law lives in a different city…and she is annoying me by calling up and interfering between me and my husband..How can i annoy her over the phone?
The phone interference gag is overdone, but it is still very effective. Cell phones are easy since you can hang up and pretend it was a lost call. It gets easier to hang up the more times you do it too. “I hate this phone” you can tell her, “it is always dropping calls.” Once you have the bad phone thing established, just say, “Why don’t you try texting?”
Take your other MIL on holiday with you and your family.
Warren,
Yeah, I can see how that would annoy her (certainly if you have gassy teenage boys, or two-year-olds that are in desparate need of naps).
Like Uma, I have the same question.
To annoy her back, or not to annoy her back, that is the question.
One thing I’ve done (if you have caller id) is to answer the phone, but don’t speak into it. “Just set it and forget it.” You don’t even need to tell your husband/wife that she called, just let it sit on a kitchen counter, or dining room table and go about your daily business.
Any other suggestions how to keep the conversation short over cell phones?
My mother in law is the bitch of all bitches. She never shuts up and is always complaining about my cleaning. The worst part is that her son cowers to her constantly.
I’ve always wanted to get her back for all the stuff she puts me through. Wish me luck!
I’m wishing you lots of luck!
If she complains about your cleaning than that means you get to take advantage of her superior housekeeping skills. Embrace it!
Invite her over to your place specifically to get her help with cleaning. Say, “Could you show me how you get your stovetop/oven so clean?” “How do you get your shower to sparkle like that?” “How do you get your floors so clean?” Make sure that she’s the one showing you how to do it right – If she wants you to do the work just say, “I’m really more of a visual learner.” This process might take several sessions (hehe). Remeber that while she’s “showing you the right way to do it” to take a break, make an iced tea, enjoy – you’ve got a free maid for the day!”
At some point she’ll learn to mind her own business in that area – or put her judgements where her hands, knees and feet are (if you know what I mean).
the monster at my house is worse. Im an Indian and she stays with us, every time she kills me for cleaning and she herself is the most dirty lady I ever saw in my life.She can’nt even boil water without spoiling the whole kitchen.
I cook for all even after office and she tells every one that she is the one who cook. I hate her from the core of my heart.
she herself never stayed with her in-laws, still only her brother sisters and their children visit us. My parents also now does not want tovisit my home as they don’t like her.
she is an evil person on earth. I hate her. what to do?
My husband cowers to my MIL. Ironicly, he wants me to tell her not to come back, but when I didn’t do it he called ME a coward. I actually laughed, got dressed, and then asked him if he was talking to himself. I’m so ready to pack my bags and leave.
Annoyed, Sigmund Freud offered an explanation (in theory) to your problem with your husband. He called it Psychological Projection. In projection, someone’s thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings (the ones that they can’t actually accept as their own) can be dealt with by placing them in the outside world and attributing them to someone else. Like a bright light shining through them, they see themselves (especially the parts they don’t like) in others – even when those traits don’t actually exist. In other words, you’re right, he’s feeling cowardice, so he’s projecting his feelings on you (something that’s probably caused in-part by the MIL to being with). I would suggest making a better effort to build your husband up. Stroke his self-confidence a little, he might just start believing it. If he’s still projecting, he’ll start to see those traits in you as well.
I am definitely in the same boat as you, I prayed to move out and we did, then two years of peace and quiet she comes knocking on the door,begs my husband for us to move back in with her,now where at a place of getting doors slammed in my face, grumbling behind my back, constantly complaining that I’m not cleaning the house good enough, has a problem if I’m speaking to my FIL, complains the kids sleep to much, the always on their phone, what we eat, when we wash, how much water we use, we don’t make enough sacrifices and the list goes on and on…..and on. OMG.. I NEED JESUS.
I start cleaning her house the second I get there even if its already clean
Becky, you can annoy me anytime.
Send her a snarky greeting card (when you know that there’s infidelity problems in her marriage), “Sometimes We All Need To: Take Care of What’s At Home First!”
[edited post], but I love the idea!
If your MIL never apologizes for what she does, you may just have to steal an apology from her.
Nice. Say, “I’m accepting your appology in advance because I know that you’ll just end up appologizing later.”
You could also just laugh out loud, and then say, “Some people don’t get your humor, but I sure do.”
I kindly put 1/2 a bottle of laxative in her milk (as she drinks red but buys blue for guests).
She drinks red cap, but buys blue cap for guests? That’s crazy!
Get a special Tshirt made for her birthday or Christmas that says “I love my Daughter-In-Law” with a huge picture of your face on it… LOL that would steam her kettle!!
Nice! How about buy for yourself one that says, “I’m with stupid” and then take her to the mall.
My MIL just called dfcs on me bc my husband made a few bad choices that I promptly called him out on. Well she told me my name was mud then a social worker showed up the next day repeating things I’d told her in confidence about my past. So of course I go see the social worker and tell her it’s my hateful MIL abusing the system etc… So for her bday next month she is getting that shirt and I’ll act all hurt when she doesn’t wear it. LOL perfect idea. Love it!!!
Whenever she asks me to help her bake I deliberately put the wrong ingredients in lmao. 🙂 hence the reason we have paprika flavoured cupcakes and chocolate prawn crackers xD haha.
Oh she is also a diabetic, so every year, without fail, for easter, christmas, and her birthday i buy her a massive bar of chocolate, act surprised when she reminds me she is a diabetic, and then eat the chocolate myself 😀 win-win situation!!!
The more disgusting ingredients the better. You could always say, “I’m trying a new recipe and you’re my guinea pig.” Or, “the kids decided to bake for you – I hope that you like it.”
I have been putting up with my MIL for the last 11 yrs, She is down right mean. I am not letting it roll off my back anymore. Let the games begin!
…the torch has been lit and the doves have been released.
I wanted to burn my f***** MIL alive!! God… forgive me.
Oh! It’s ON!!!!! :))
This always works…eliminate your body’s solid, semisolid, or liquid waste material onto her pillow. My MIL deserved it.
Hmm. Not sure that she will “not know your intentions” here – and it’s a little gross, but I think I get it.
Well, my situation is a lot different than most I guess, the battle with my MIL is that she can go a month or two without calling or visiting us. She doesn’t care about our daughter or anything that has to do with us. We have to tell her many times that we want her more involved in our lives and more close to us, but she only does it for few days and then goes back to ignoring us. She has favoritism with her daughter’s kids and buys them lots of presents on Christmas–only one gift from the dollar store for our daughter. We even stoped talking to her for three months, to see if she was going to realize that we were hurt. But it only made her to keep track of us for a couple of weeks and that’s was it. Right now we have over three months that we haven’t had any calls or visits from her. My husband is just devastated because of the way his mother treats him. And I can’t stand his pain. 😦
Carolina,
I’m sorry to hear of your pain. The ideas above are designed to annoy her without getting to much of her attention. Of course, I’m not a real credible authority on the subject, but in my view, sometimes the energy and effort that we expend on certain people in our lives is just too much – even if it hurts us on the short term. My suggestion is to let her go. Allow yourself to give your time and energy to things that build your family up (and particularly those things that make YOU happy). Best wishes, Brethart77
I love your response to this! Very wise! 🙂
I have been hesitating telling my MIL off for about a year since I had my kid. First she started driving me crazy and eventually got to my hubby and my kid (who had bruises from her grabbing him to hard). I finally got the guts to defend MY boys. It made her cry – even though I only spoke the truth. I’ve never felt better. In the evening, my husband complimented me on finally putting her in her place. The only thing is that I wish that I would have said more. I guess I will have to save it for the next battlefield.
Kitty, good for you! I’m not an expert, but it seems to me that being completely honest with people about how you feel is a very good idea. I’d imagine that it’d even out the balance of power, giving you time to reset and try the relationship again with a different footing. Good luck going forward!
You just gave me the courage to confront mine 😉
Wee around the toilet seat in her house. She will go nuts.
Great idea. She might even blame it on your Father In Law, or that “never leaving home” Brother In Law of yours!
When she is eating tea at her table, just bring up the subject of when you and her son were having sex in that exact spot. Not only does it get your mother in-law, but also gets your annoying sister in-laws. It’s funny. Make sure that you dont have a mouthfull when you’re looking at their facial expressions. (while secretly in the corner your farther in-law has a little laugh to himself.)
Casey, that would make for some entertaining facial expressions for sure!
If your mother-in-law talks too much, always offer her some potato chips and soda before she begins flapping her lips. Potato chips contain salt and makes the mouth run dry. Give her soda for a drink, and say you have nothing else. The carbonation and ingredients in soda will further dehydrate her. She’ll eventually stop talking.
Very scientific answer – nice.
What if shes diabetic? Soda will not work?
Does anyone know if diet soda has the same effect?
Diet works even better – it has even MORE sodium.
Hi Brethart77,
I was married June 2012. I am now living with my husband’s family. They are very annoying and are trying to rule my life. I was contemplating separation from them, but my father-in-law came down with a sickness and so we had to stay back. My husband is so tired of their games, but he always gives them “the benefit of the doubt.” I sincerely wish to know what I can do to stop them from making my life a living Hell.
For example: I cannot use the washing machine for MY clothes, but my husband’s clothes are washed by my MIL. She says that I’m not allowed to prepare food, but then complains to her son that I don’t lend a hand in the house work. She harrasses me for wearing T-Shirts and Denims. My FIL always nags me about not taking care of his son, etc, etc…
Help me please!
Vicki,
I’m so sorry to hear about the Hell that you’ve been experiencing with your in-laws. You’ve listed a few things that would certainly drive me crazy. All my sympathy – Hang in there!
Girl. ……it will not ever change until your man takes a stand for you to them…..if he dont…then you got no choice but to go or keep being miserable……then if he does and nothing changes there ya go…..its not gonna change!!! The bible says when a man marries a women that he leaves his mother father and that you two are become as one!!! Try to sit and talk ti then and tellem that and tell them if you want your son to be happy then you need to stop bc I’m at the point of divorce…..and if they don’t care you gotta go bc YOUR happiness needs to be first…..you only have 1 life to live and life goes by to fast….to waste in ppl who don’t care!!!
Open up her dreasser drawers and stamp your foot on all of her undergarments. I bet it will make you feel great!
I suppose if your options are: 1) Stamping your foot on her undergarments while she IS NOT wearing them, or 2) Stamping your foot on her undergarments while she IS wearing them, you should probably go with number 1.
My MIL is so jealous and so selfish. She wants her son all for herself and treats him like a little kid. So, when we hang out with her, I make sure to hold his hand, kiss him, hug him and make baby faces to him (and he makes baby faces back at me). I also text him naughty-perverted-funny stuff so when he reads his cellphone, he looks at me and laughs naughtily (then my MIL asks: “what?”…”what are you laughing about?”…and I just say with a big smile: “Oh nothing, your son gets it”). I can tell by the look on her face that it drives her nuts! hahahahaha
Sprites, that sounds pretty devilish to me. I think that fits our list perfectly.
Switch out daily medicine for sugar pills or Advil.
Hmm, I can’t endorse doing anything potentially dangerous or harmful to your MIL. Maybe giving her a Skittle in place of an Advil would be innocent enough? That’d be funny.
When you visit the bathroom, stick her toothbrush down the loo and carefully put it back where it was…..she will never know. Oh the secret pleasure!
Hehe…scrub a little while you’re down there. You’ll feel good about doing some cleaning for her. Guilt-free!
Oh my God this cracked me up, I’m going to try it!!!
My MIL isn’t outright mean, but she’s very sneaky. She pushes and pushes until she gets what she wants. She reminds me of a bully I once knew in middle-school. My husband just gives in to her, just to shut her up. As a result, it makes me look like the bad guy b/c I wont give in to her manipulation. We are moving back (closer to both our parents) and I dread having to deal with her and having her get her way ALL the time. Ugh. How do I keep the peace? How do I help my husband understand that he isn’t 15 anymore and doesn’t have to do everything she says?
Annoyed,
As you can see from the comments on this site, you are not alone. Take peace in knowing that we support you and hope that things turn around soon.
When she phones your house, ask who is calling. If she says her name, prompt her for a surname. I do it every single time.
Karen, yes! I think that would be terribly annoying.
Clean her toilet with her thootbrush or you can also spit in her mouthwash.
I can see cleaning her toilet with her toothbrush, but spitting in her mouthwash? Gross!
I have an outdoor decorative swivel sign that’s smack dab in the middle of my garden that is stocked with flowers that my mother in law is allergic to – others with scents she dispises, or plants she cant stand etc…The sign reads on one side “Friends welcome!” The other side, “Relatives by Appointment Only”…I guess its a passive aggressive way to get a little payback.
I think that fits the list well.
Switch her conditioner with nair 🙂 lol
Um, yeah. That’d be a problem for her, I bet.
I use a trick from a tv show. Instead of saying’F*** off, I say ‘Thats nice’. She has no idea which I mean, she watches the show its from, but thinks I dont. The confusion is funny revenge.
That’s nice. I love it!
Hook your MIL up to your wireless network at home, then as soon as you leave the house change your network key… Absolute BLISS 🙂
That’s one of the better ones – nice!
I sent my MIL an email telling her to stay away from my family and that she needs to not bug us for money or anything. I also told her that she is not allowed around my son without supervision. I wish she could just be an adult women and accept her children and grandchildren and not force her rhetoric and religion down everyone’s throats. Although I am thankful for my hubby–of course, she should have never been a mother.
I might leave the worst nursing home pamphlets I can find in her house in a few years, but the toothbrush in the toilet–that’ s a quick one.
Anna, tell us how that went.
My mother in law hates me I think. She always takes my brother-in-laws wife’s side (she cries, and says that I said something about her). My MIL believes the girl even without asking me to share my side. What do I do if she hasn’t talked to me since Thanksgiving 2012? The worse part is that I didn’t say anything about that girl.
Yovana,
I wish that I had the kinds of specialized training I’d need to give you a really good answer, but I’ll give it a shot. It seems to me that this is a bit of a toxic relationship – what I mean is that there isn’t a lot of good things being produced as a result of your interaction. My non-professional advice is let the relationship end – maybe that’s where it’s already headed. Try paying more attention to those people in your life that actually make you feel good about yourself – and those people that make you a better person. Best wishes!
Be glad if she’s silent, mine doesn’t shut up!
I go through this every day with my MIL. At first my in-laws hurt my feelings, so I left my hubby, but I later got back with him with the understanding that I would kick their asses if they ever started their crap again. Now, I just get my secret revenge every day. I do feel a little bad, but they definitely deserve it (100%). A little advice, get used to it, the blows get softer as the years go by. 🙂 Also, don’t take anything too personally.
Think of them as children, if your MIL acts like a child, treat her accordingly! Speak to her like a baby, say, “Awww, your mad at me huh? Don’t be mad, I love you!”
My MIL snoops through private papers & files in our home office, asks a zillion interfering questions about everything and generally drives me freaking nuts, she only visits twice a year for a week and I want to hurl myself off a cliff when she is here…..help!
Hang in there Sandy, you’re certainly not alone. Try some of these tactics – see if that helps.
Ha! my monster in law snooped in our closet one time! And I mean 1 time. My husband and I had our bag of sex toys that she found. I knew someone was in my closet. My kids said later it was grandma. I told my husband and he said well that will teach her not to snoop. Several years later I had to move in with my inlaws for a few months. After I had moved out my MIL says I found this “thing” under “your” bed and was scared to touch it. So she gets my SIL to pick it up and put it in a walmart bag. She hands me the bag with discust on her face. As I look in the bag I nearly died laughing in her face…..it was my hair dryer diffuser!! Funniest thing ever. From that day on I knew she had been in my closet.
37: Boil an Egg and unshell the egg. Then place it in the main room she stays in but it a hidden place. It will make a a funky smell.
38: Pee on her toothbrush, when she isn’t home.
39: If she is a blond and uses that blond shampoo (that is actually a purple or blue color), slip in some temporary (same color) hair dye. She can’t get too mad because she wont know what happened and it will eventually come out with more shampoo washes.
Pee on her toothbruth? Gross!
The best way to annoy a mother-in law that dislikes you – be happy. I’ve discovered that after several years of her torture – I changed nothing else. I just made up my mind to forget her mayhem and drama and to be happy. After 6 months of it she’s “put put” and unhappy and she won’t come here anymore. Walla, me happy and less MIL.
Interesting. I’m glad that it worked out for you.
BOOKDive You’re my hero.
A good way to annoy your MIL is to trip her and make it seem like an accident. Hopefully she fall flat on her face or ass and break something.
If you have any access to sleeping pills, you will spare yourself a lot of headaches.
Hey, this is Satarupa from India. I have a question that my MIL is too possessive of my husband. She makes the decisions in my life (what I and my husband will do or not do). I tried to make him understood that we are married now and the decisions of our life will need to be made by us both, but he doesn’t support me. He told me to listen to his mother! Is that right? I’m compromising day by day and now I feel like I’ll die, because I’m not like that. Now please, what will I do in this matter? How will I get my husband’s support and my existence back?
Do something right away..I ‘ve had 45 years of that….never got better…
Melatonin or CBD vitamins can give you some relief and quiet – for you or for her…
Pee on a toothbrush!? Yuck!
When she cooks for you act like it’s flavorless and furiously add salt or pepper, taste it, add more. If its already too salty (like my MIL’s food ALWAYS is) drink water after every bite and add a little cough here and there. Then leave as much food on the plate as you wish. (Which isn’t difficult for me at all since I actually care about my blood pressure.)
All these are funny, but I don’t talk to my MIL at all! I’m just happy that her son finally saw sense & picked me.
My MIL is always complaining that when we visit I never let her spend enough time with her son, alone. After 21 years of this my hubby and I came up with the perfect payback. Last time we visited (we live across the country) and whenever she was leaving the house, I sent my hubby with her and sat back and read a good book. He accompanied her to the hair dressers, grocery store, walks at the park. He smoked like a chimney (which drives her crazy), talked the whole time, told dirty jokes to the hair dresser and told the same stories over and over again. After three days of this, she told him to take me to the mall or something. Never heard the complaint again. My father in law caught on quickly and thought it was awesome! It was a riot!
I’m from Sri Lanka and I have the same problem with my MIL. I feel like I should leave home and my husband because of her. What happened is my husband is always on her side–and I have a 10-month-old baby! I hate to have her babysit my baby…and that bitch cooks so much food and my husband always wants to eat what she cooks. Please help me to forget these things about her and to be a better family with my baby and husband.
In my situation, the BIL started the drama. Of course, MIL hag had to side with her “baby boy”! Gag me! Anyway, the BIL hates me…for what reason? Who knows? I made an authentic VooDoo doll of him, with pins and all. I’m still debating whether or not to mail it to him, leave it on his doorstep, or send it to the monster. His name is on it, so there won’t be any question of mistaken identity, LOL. Just for kicks, I got a bright red candle and dripped wax all over the doll. What fun that was! Man, it looks CREEPY! Like blood dripping off…HAhaHA! When I get tired of my pin “therapy”, I’ll make the decision about who to send it to and how. What a bunch of horrible people. I’m still thinking my husband had to be adopted.
I would so love to do this lol! I just need to learn to make the dolls
Every time she cooks something, say its a little dry, then every time you eat something she didn’t make, remark about how moist it is. She will hate this. My mother in law does!
Delete all of her DVR recordings so it looks like somehow there was a glitch with the system
Dear lord. This James sounds like my husband! Honey, is that you!?!
See if you can find her computer or laptop and change the language to anything than what she’s familiar with.
You see that favorite fork she uses? Bring it secretly with you inside the car and rub it on your butthole like there’s no tomorrow. And remember, put the dear fork back in it is lovely place where you got it. Gently now.
Buy her a broom at Halloween time that has a sign on it that says, “The witch is in” and just say how you and your husband really laughed when you talked about giving it to her 🙂
Poison her plants!
I love this idea! Buy a bottle of toxic, poisonous plant-killer — something I’d never use outdoors or allow to drip into the groundwater — and secretly squirt some into each potted houseplant. When she bemoans her dying plants, sweetly say, “Well, not everyone’s born with a green thumb.”
Screen all calls from her and never answer her calls. Only text back then it’s harder for her to get her way!
When MIL makes passive agressive suggestions about babysitting my bubs, I say ‘no’ or completely ignore her.
My MIL tries to tell me how to raise my kids. When I do something dis-pleasing in her eyes, she rolls her eyes and starts giving me disproving looks. Then my SIL and her go into the next room and start whispering about me. My hubby says I just haven’t given her a chance. We’ve been together for nearly 5 years and married for nearly 3… she was awesome until she realized I was here to stay.
When she comes for one of her week long visits make sure the room you put her in is packed and don’t even give her a spot big enough to put down her purse or luggage. Make sure all of the drawers in the room are full and the closet space is occupied. Don’t offer her any hangers or leave any in the closet. If there is a hook that she could use anywhere in the room hang something on it.
When your MIL tells you how much her son loves her, tell her “Yeah, my mother says she can’t believe how much he tells her he loves her, too.” When she brings over one portion of her home-cooked food for her son, alternate these: (1) His doctor has said he has to cut back on his cholesterol and he’s not allowed to eat her food. (2)Her husband called and he wants his supper back. (3) Cook single portions of food and bring it to her husband.
My MIL is allergic to a certain brand of dish detergent. We live with her and all I buy is that brand–it drives her nuts!
Potentially harmful, but I like your bravado.
Last year for Christmas we bought her Anti-Cracking Heel Cream, practical and funny.
That’d be funny to wrap that up and put it under the tree. “We wanted to get you something you could use.” you might say.
Christmas Tip : Buy her the movie “Monster in Law.”
Yep, I think that fits the list. I bet this film will get a boost in sales as a result of your comment.
After every conversation with her mumble “Ughh, this is why nobody likes you.”
That might be a little mean and a lot presumptuous (saying that nobody likes her), but dangit, this is war!
Please help me. I am getting mad. My husband and I migrated to another country. After working hard we finally bought our dream house. We were looking forward to enjoying our life together when my MIL came to visit. She told us “I can not live alone. I want to stay with you.” She totally victimized herself. I’ve talked to my husband about this several times, that I don’t want her to move in. But, I’m sure that she has a trick in mind. What do I do?
Find a senior citizen home, where they all live in apartments, and tell what arrangements you made so she won’t be alone, and can be with people her own age and can socialize with…
Hidden nanny cams.
Senior housing brochures, delivered by mail, in her name.
Sign her up for trip info, cruises, spa info, etc
Make your cell phone ring and then answer it, pretending to talk to a friend, casually. However, the conversation is actually all about the fantastic, incredible traits the friend’s MIL has. If yours is uneducated hers is a physics major, if yours is fat, hers is thin and in super great sexy good shape. Perky boobs, handsome husband – the whole nine yards. Make sure you pause now and then and let your imaginary friend speak. No way she can interrupt – it’s not about her, but she will suffer in silence big time.
Wow, we are mean, but who cares? It’s our MIL!
My SILs bad-mouth me a lot and for no reason (MIL goes in against me as well). I clean my MILs house while she gambles (bingo), cooks, and creates messes that and I clean up for her. She doesn’t lift a finger unless it involves answering the phone, changing the TV channel or eating (leaving dirty plates on the table). She’s 47. FIL defends her laziness by saying “she’s just getting old and tired.” Right…Ever since I met her she was 500 pounds, lazy and mean. My SILs are exactly like her.
Here’s some golden advice: Create a fake Facebook page, look for in-laws’ Facebook pages, put some nasty comments on their page, take a sigh of relief! 🙂
I have abusive crazy in-laws, so this would make me feel incredible.
Call your MIL and tell her you are coming to visit. She’ll be happy to see the grand-kids. Then, arrive at her place alone (or with partner and without kids). When she asks about them, say, “Oh didn’t I tell you I’d/We’d be coming alone? It’s because the kids are out with their favorite grandma.”
If you have a nosy Mother in-law buy porn mags, and rent some trashy videos to stash around the house for her to find.
To really piss them off u have to look like your being nice.
1. Give her gifts that imply that everyone sees her as a retched old lady e.g shoe horn, book about menopause, revolting perfume.
2. Give her clothes in a few sizes bigger than she actually is.
3. Make it look like her son is lying to her.
4. Invite her to dinner. Give her a smaller portion and then offer to cut it up for her.
5. Pretend that you can smell something bad in her house.
6. Have a laugh with your father in law (about her), this is a double whammy!
7. “Accidentally,” spill wine on her sofa.
8. Tell her all the nice things your partner says to you.
9. Get your kids to make art for her (and lots of it). Make sure she knows you want to see it displayed.
10. Tell her you love HER mother in law.
I like the “old lady” gifts. Anyone have more ideas for these kinds of gifts?
Every time your mother-in-law asks to spend time with the grandchildren, make some indirect excuse about why they can’t. For example, Jonny can’t spend the night because we are trying to sleep train him. Then brag about how other people watch the kids all the time.
I think my MIL is a demon. She wants me to cook the food of her choice (with her ingredients), bad mouths me all the time (even to my kinds when I’m at work), and manipulates my husband. She is a bitch. I just hate her like anything. My husband is a total mummy’s boy. He won’t listen to anything bad about her. What should i do?
Look like your MIL just like mine. She is a crazy bitch. She is very jealous and greedy, my husband is her only son. She never let him to see his dad’s side family when he was 2 years old. She at least got through 10 times married on her whole life. Because for her love life she even let my husband homeless when he was a teenager. After her last time failure married. She found my husband and moved with him & his ex-g/f, but she kept on fight with his ex-g/f, until one day he went to work, I don’t know how she just kicked her out. Until my husband and I met at work and start living together, she made a lot of dramas try to break us up. But, unlucky I got pregnant and have a beauty daughter. Now she keep on try to frame me a lot of things I didn’t do and complaint to my husband and the friends of her. The worst is my husband is 200% mummy’boy, even how the fake story didn’t make sense, he still trust it. This is what made me so mad. Now she try to do is take away my daughter and her son away.I just so hate her!!! She not even just a monster, she is a devil.
If they live in an older house, flush the toilet when they take a shower. BWHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Ah, yes, the old, “flush the toilet while someone’s taking a shower”-bit. Works every time. If their plumbing doesn’t scald them like the old ones do, just flushing the toilet in the same bathroom they are showering in is creepy enough. You might still be sitting there smiling when they step out of the shower. Hehe.
If your MIL is fat, like mine, tell her that she looks like she lost weight when you see her. If she’s like my MIL, 9/10 times she will say that she has gained weight. Ha! Also comment about how her house looks clean, but looked even better when you cleaned the base boards and windows. When she tries to manipulate you, call her out on it. And if your hubby doesn’t stand up for you, leave him, because he is siding with a crazy bitch!
Wear tight and revealing clothes when she comes over, then bend over a lot to show off your booty.
Ask her to go see movies about old people, like, “That Old Fart!”
Wear expensive jewelry when you visit her, if shes secretly checks you out every time, let her. Put your hair back and let your earrings shine on her face!
Every time she throws a cunning, manipulated joke at you, reply with a lovely laugh, “You’re so mean! How did you come up with that one?”
Tight clothing? Nice!
Upon meeting her, ecstatically congratulate her and tell her how happy you are for her. When she says what for, answer her innocently: “On your pregnancy!”
Of course she isn’t. Have fun watching her get all riled up and insecure about her appearance. Hah!
That’d certainly make for a very uncomfortable situation.
Whenever your mil goes to take a shower turn on all the other facets to hot. Make sure you only turn on the ones you can get to in time if in the event she tries to bust you.
Nice! That would annoy me for sure.
Turn her home into a flop house and raid the fridge like you’re a nanny with no kids to watch.
Love that image, “like a nanny with no kids to watch.”
If you are living with your MIL, constantly share jokes in your husband’s ears and join in laughing out loud.. While in the bedroom laugh out loud and always act as though you are super happy whenever she is present. I’m currently living with my MIL,and she hates to see me happy,this works!
“Kill her with kindness.” That seems to be a popular way to do it. I’m lumping this one in with #22.
I do exactly the same and she goes absolutely furious when she sees or hears it!!!!
all this is evil, just be honest
If they like to gossip (especially about each other as my mother and sisters in-law do), refuse to listen to it. I just stopped my sister-in-law in her tracks by saying, “That’s none of my business,” and walking out of the room when she started in about my mother-in-law. It felt so good, and my husband will be proud of me when I tell him about it.
“Ask her each time you see her, “Are you feeling okay? You look like you have a cold or something.”
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I love the passive-aggressive approach; if done correctly, the target has a vague sense of having been insulted but can’t really fight back. My own MIL is obese; when she’s obnoxious to me, I run my eyes up and down her body and say, “Have you been gaining weight, dear? You know how concerned I am about your health.” When she says something negative about my clothing, I say, “Do you have a bigger shirt to wear? This one’s too tight and revealing, and I know that self-dignity is so important to you.”
If these are things you would actually do to someone, I think we know who the bad guy really is in this relationship.
My MIL tried to use physical manipulation to control me, but no longer.
Years ago, she couldn’t talk to me without grabbing my arm, stroking my hand, rubbing my shoulder, etc. When she wanted me to move in a given direction, she wouldn’t say, “It’s this way”; she’d take hold of my body and pull me along. I HATED all this touchy-feely, and I asked/told her, countless times, to stop it. On a few occasions, I even said, “Get your hands off me!”, which she ignored.
Finally, I started putting my arm around her, feigning affection, and squeezing a fat roll. MIL’s obese, and nothing makes her feel worse than a reminder. I’d place my hand on the back of her waist, grab a wad of fat, and not let go. If she squirmed away, I’d move to the fat pad above or below the back of her bra and hold-on tightly.
MIL has learned to keep her mitts to herself. I strongly recommend this passive-aggressive approach to all you gals. Instead of confronting MIL, a battle you’re likely to lose, come up with a secret way to send your message.
I agree to your approach, thanks for sharing to all us. Yeah, unfortunately, confronting MIL is a battle that we all very likely to lose unless the husbands are on the wives’ side totally, meaning 100%, then the wives win.
This stuff is really passive aggressive. Why don’t you just tell her what is bothering you and make boundaries/limits? Put on your big girl panties.
My MIL is the worst lady to me, she is very arrogant, selfish and rude to me, she gave a slap across my face by telling because of my hubby’s word only she accepted our marriage, she does not like me anymore as she said. now she is with us. i feel very bad. pls help me. things which you people mentioned above and all i cannot do. becz mine is very orthodax family, if i does not do the wrong things also, thy ll blame me…Sad part is i have 2 MIL, Own MIL and MIL’s sister. Both are driving me crazy. im crying a lot literally.
She’s morbidly obese and extremely insecure. When she bares her fangs and tries to bully me, I take the passive-aggressive approach. I say, “You look as if you’ve been gaining weight? You know I’m so concerned about your health.” Or, “You might want to change your blouse for something larger. This one’s too tight, and I know how much you care about looking your best.” Or, I’ll lead her to a flight of stairs, instead of an elevator, and run up while she gasps and struggles behind.
My mother in law already does some of these things to me. So manipulative
My husbands ex’s all had refused to go to her house, now I know why
Sometimes you have to protect yourself from constant negativity and her always putting you down
She tries kissing my baby son on the lips and tries to tell him to call her mom
She even pushed his hand in her shirt so he could touch her boobs
She kept trying to force me to formula feed him. Big argument over that
She also thinks its funny to TRY n give him beer
My son is never out of my sight, I would never ever leave him with her so she can forget about him going to sleep in her bed
She gave me clothes from a good will store 5 times bigger for my first mothers day. While I gave her a $200 culinary knife set for her birthday. My nanni doesn’t even wear clothes like that. A pink sweat pants and random tights or scarf. She gave me a rose from the 12 roses I gave her for mothers day n regifted it to me. Then she complained to her daughters and sisters that I left her shitty gift back. When I was the one who forced my husband to go visit her on mothers day cuz she would cry that nobody cares for her
She complained to my mom and grandma about condoms all over the car when it was vitamin e and glycerin. When her schzprenic daughter slashed her in her face she used the same “so called condoms” on her face to heal it
Thank you for this blog and support, gave me some ideas lol
I will definitely mention how much older she looks everytime I see her and do the boiled egg n leave it in her living room. The laxatives would actually help her cuz she’s constantly constipated, she drinks that on a regular. I get so frustrated dealing with her sometimes. I wouldn’t do the poop or pee thing cuz I find that too mean. I do have to have respect for her, for raising a good husband.
Gonna try the signing her up with surveys and aarp
My husband saved her name as “Marie mom” from everybody loves raymond
Whenever she’d pull a sarcastic line, we’d both look at each other n say marie n giggle
Watching the episodes will definitely turn your situations into humor
Ahhh feel better already just writing about it
My mother-in-law has just found out her daughter is pregnant so when she came to visit our daughter I said congrats your going to be a proper nan. She looks at me, well Charlotte will let you have the baby during the day over night. Hinting that I will never allow or trust my daughter in her care. My daughter is 3 and has never had her on her own
Love this post with some of the ideas of getting your mother in law back at her own game. I have a mil who always thinks she knows everything, bitchy towards me and doesn’t respect my relationship with her son. Keep the ideas coming – please!.
A bunch of childish women on here. No wonder your mother in laws don’t like you!
Calm Down. Just a place to safely vent your frustration and to have a good laugh. The MIL annoyances are optional.
When she calls you daughter and f.ks your trip all the way! Shes always shooting from her childrens shoulder. They take the hint and fight it out with me. She blesses me all the time to cover up for her mishaps. Yet i have to love her and live with her. After everything God too sees everyone as new inspite of the wrongs they do!
I didn’t let her know and let her to walk around the town during the shopping with massive lipstick smudge on her upper lip… She was walking around thinking that she stylish and very “now” with that horrible carrot coloured lipstick on…. You should have seen that terrified expression on her face when she finally noticed….. priceless!!!! :)))))
Thank you for this. I feel better already just reading it.