We at Completethelist.Wordpress.Com want to list “50 ways to annoy your mother-in-law without her knowing your intentions.” We have found that there is a great need for those desperate to even the score. We need your help to complete the list…we’d love to hear your suggestions, just submit your answers at the comments box.
1. If she calls to let you know she’s coming over to your house, hurry and put on a bath robe and wet your hair. Act shocked to see her when she arrives.
2. Ask her each time you see her, “Are you feeling okay? You look like you have a cold or something.”
3. If she has photographs, or artwork hanging on the walls, pretend that you are straightening a few each time you go to their place when really you are making them lean just a little to the right or left.
4. Use a her favorite magazines as coasters when having a drink at her house.
5. If you see a partially completed crossword puzzle, say “Oh I love crossword puzzles” and fill in all the wrong words.
6. Move book-marks a few pages ahead of where they’re placed.
7. Several seconds after she’s gotten into the bathroom, knock on the door impatiently saying, “Please hurry, I really need to pee!”
8. Offer to put away her washed dishes, but put them in all the wrong places.
9. Offer to meet at a restaurant for dinner, then don’t go. Just say, “Oh, I forgot.”
10. Offer to pay for everyone’s meal, then when the waiter arrives say “We’ll all just have water, thanks.”
11. Never feed your kids before going to her house so that they constantly beg her for food.
12. Bring a carton of boiled eggs with you and when she isn’t looking, switch them out for her fresh ones.
13. Just before you leave, open the fridge and put a dot of black food coloring into her milk container.
14. Leave her fridge, or freezer open just a crack when you leave her house. If she doesn’t notice right away, her food will spoil.
15. Send her a Happy Birthday card with her favorite famous person’s return address (and a special note from them).
16. Pick ear wax out of your ears and wipe it on stuff in her house.
17. Buy her cheap art several times a year. Tell her that you were thinking of her when you bought them.
18.(Adrienne) If you happen to have a small dog, take it with you to your MIL’s home. Make sure it hasn’t pooped in a day or so, and then find a way to “accidentally” allow him to do his business on her fave rug……then laugh innocently and say, “Fluffy only poops where he has smelled sh** before, that’s STRANGE…” she will get the hint if she has been badmouthing you lately.
19. (Adrienne) If you really don’t like your MIL you could show her your secret displeasure by flushing a few thick old socks down her toilet. Continue flushing until it overflows. Then run to her saying that her toilet isn’t working properly. Or, just let her find it that way…heehee.
20. (Annoyed) [Edited] Accuse her of doing something awful, like, “Someone’s been selling my daughter’s clothes online. Was it you?”
21. (Haha) Sign her up for AARP!! They send junk mail all the time AND sell your address to ALL types of other businesses!
22. (SoThatsHowItIs) Keep telling her how much you love her son and how much he loves and looks after you. If she really likes you then this will make her happy, if she secretly hates you, this will DRIVE HER NUTS! It’s a win win!
23. (dixie511) If your MIL is selling something like Mary Kay sign up for it and then a couple of weeks later tell her that selling isn’t your thing and sign up for Avon the same day and bring a book by and put it on her door step.
24. (kris1980) When you’re visiting your MIL, switch her diet pills for laxative pills they sell to elderly people with serious bowel problems. She won’t be inviting you for the next few months or so.
25. (Lish) I leave random nursing home brochures in her house.
26. (Rayven) When ever your MIL calls you answer the phone exasperated and when she asks what’s wrong, explain in detail how wonderful the sex was with your husband, when she asks you to stop, say that’s the same thing you tell your husband when he gets rough! She will be very disgusted! And eventually stop calling!
27. (Warren) Take your other MIL on holiday with you and your family.
28. (Becky) Start cleaning her house the second you get there, even if its already clean.
29. (payback is hell) Send her a snarky greeting card – the more back-handed and insulting the better.
30. (it works bothways) Steal an apology.
31 (IHateMyMIL) Put laxatives in her milk.
32. (Barbiegirl) Order a special Tshirt as a gift that says “I love my Daughter-In-Law/I love my Son-In-Law” with a huge picture of your face on it.
33. (Laraylia) Bake for her, but put the wrong ingredients in the batter (have paprika flavored cupcakes and chocolate prawn crackers).
34. (lordfarquad) Defecate on her pillow.
35. (Zaf) Urinate around and on the toilet seat in her house. She will go nuts.
36 (Sprites) Text naughty, sexy things to your spouse while she’s around. When she asks “what’s so funny?” say, “oh, nothing.”
37: (HollyHu) Boil an Egg and unshell the egg. Then place it in the main room she stays in but it a hidden place. It will make a a funky smell.
38: (HollyHu) Pee on her toothbrush, when she isn’t home.
39: (HollyHu) If she is a blond and uses that blond shampoo (that is actually a purple or blue color), slip in some temporary (same color) hair dye. She can’t get too mad because she wont know what happened and it will eventually come out with more shampoo washes.
40. (Tuddy) Hook your MIL up to your wireless network at home, then as soon as you leave the house change your network key… Absolute BLISS
41. (Victoria Alcock) I use a trick from a tv show. Instead of saying’F*** off, I say ‘Thats nice’. She has no idea which I mean, she watches the show its from, but thinks I don’t. The confusion is funny revenge.
42. (Christy) Switch her conditioner with Nair.
43. (Kaye) Create an outdoor decorative swivel sign that is stocked with flowers that your mother in law is allergic to – others with scents she despises, or plants she cant stand etc…The sign could read on one side “Friends welcome!” The other side, “Relatives by Appointment Only”…I guess its a passive aggressive way to get a little payback.
44. (Karen) When she phones your house, Ask who is calling. If she says her name prompt her for a surname. Do it every single time.
45. (Raed Gheith) If your mother-in-law talks too much, always offer her some potato chips and soda before she begins flapping her lips. Potato chips contain salt and makes the mouth run dry. Give her soda for a drink, and say you have nothing else. The carbonation and ingredients in soda will further dehydrate her. She’ll eventually stop talking
46. (Shosho) Open up her dresser drawers and stamp your foot on all of her undergarments. I bet that will make you feel great!
47. (Chris82) Whenever your MIL takes a shower, turn on all the other facets to hot (make sure you only turn on the ones you can get to in time if in the event she tries to bust you). The shower will quickly run out of hot water.
48. (Lauren Greenwood) Turn her home into a flop house and raid the fridge (like you’re a nanny with no kids to watch).
49. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Wear tight and revealing clothes when she comes over, then bend over a lot to show off your booty.
50. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Ask her to go see movies with you about old people, like, “That Old Fart!”
51. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Wear expensive jewelry when you visit her. If shes secretly checks you out every time, let her. Put your hair back and let your earrings shine on her face!
52. (annoyed by manipulated/cunning MIL) Every time she throws a cunning, manipulated joke at you, reply with a lovely laugh, “You’re so mean! How did you come up with that one?”
53. (courtcourt) After every conversation with her mumble “Ughh, this is why nobody likes you.”
54. (karen) When she phones your house, ask who is calling. If she says her name, prompt her for a surname. I do it every single time.
55. (tired of in-laws) If your MIL acts like a child, treat her accordingly! Speak to her like a baby, say, “Awww, your mad at me huh? Don’t be mad, I love you!”
56. (lzzchicago) If your MIL is allergic to a certain brand of dish detergent, switch hers for that brand.
57. (lzzchicago) Buy her Anti-Cracking Heel Cream for Christmas, practical and funny.
58. (lzzchicago) Buy her the movie “Monster in Law.”
59. (kathi) Make your cell phone ring and then answer it, pretending to talk to a friend, casually. However, the conversation is actually all about the fantastic, incredible traits the friend’s MIL has. If yours is uneducated hers is a physics major, if yours is fat, hers is thin and in super great sexy good shape. Perky boobs, handsome husband – the whole nine yards. Make sure you pause now and then and let your imaginary friend speak. No way she can interrupt – it’s not about her, but she will suffer in silence big time.
60. (woo hoo) Give her gifts that imply that everyone sees her as a retched old lady, like: a shoe horn, a book about menopause, a particularly revolting perfume.
61. (woo hoo) Give her clothes that are a few sizes bigger than she actually is.
62. (woo hoo) Invite her to dinner, intentionally give her a smaller portion and then offer to cut it up for her.
63. (woo hoo) Pretend that you can smell something bad in her house.
64. (woo hoo) Have a laugh with your father in law (about her), this is a double whammy!
65. (woo hoo) “Accidentally,” spill wine on her sofa.
66. (woo hoo) Tell her all the nice things your partner says to you.
67. (woo hoo) Get your kids to make art for her (and lots of it). Make sure she knows you want to see it displayed.
68. (woo hoo) Tell her you love HER mother in law.
69. (labrat) Flush the toilet when they take a shower.
70. (chubby digits) Upon meeting her, ecstatically congratulate her and tell her how happy you are for her. When she says what for, answer her innocently: “On your pregnancy!?”
Of course she isn’t. Have fun watching her get all riled up and insecure about her appearance.